Mistakes. We all make them. We have all made them. And they will continue to be in our lives, regardless of our most sincere attempts to avoid them. But, just because a great period of time has passed, does that mean that that particular thing/person/situation needs to remain in your life? Does time automatically equate to seceding and leaving things status quo? Does that mean that just because time has passed, it is just part of who you are now?
I am here to answer that question for you as blunt as possible: FUCK NO!
If something doesn’t bring you joy or enrich your life in some way, if all it does is bring you down and cloak you in toxic sludge, walk the fuck away. I don’t want to throw out trendy asshole sayings, because I don’t particularly think of myself as trendy or an asshole, but for real people, fucking YOLO!
Now that is not to say that you should go quit your job and screw over your family. So be responsible, but still try and find your bliss in this situation.
A friend who makes you more sad than anything? Or makes you feel like you aren’t important? Or possibly drains you beyond measure? Why are we holding on to this? I can’t tell you how many times I have heard “bla bla sucks, but we have been friends for [blank] years so I just stick it out” Holy fuck, why? If you got stuck in the leg with rusty barbed wire years ago, would you just walk around with it sticking in you? Poisoning you? Driving you nuts? No, I would like to think you would not do that. So how is this any different? A thorn in your side is a thorn in your side. Remove all poison and carry the fuck on.
A family situation that makes you feel like you are insignificant, stupid, hard to love, unnecessary? Just because they are family does not give them a buy to treat you like shit without consequence. Sure, families usually get away with far more shit than anyone else, but it doesn’t mean you have to lay down and take it. Sometimes space is necessary. Sometimes estrangement is necessary. I’ve done both. No it is not easy. But like I said, yolo, bitches…
Marriage…… this, I feel, is the one that most people hold on to even when they don’t want to, or really fucking shoudn’t. I’ve ended one myself, and while it wasn’t easy, I still frequently kick myself for not doing it a lot sooner. I lost a lot of people because of it, was reprimanded by certain people (who should have had my back) for just “giving up” and “breaking vows”. He was poison. He was awful. He was (and remains to this day) an emotional terrorist. He is manipulative and conniving, he was emotionally and mentally abusive, he was (and still is) a narcissistic sociopath who will literally blame anyone but himself for everything that is wrong in his life or situation. He is never wrong. Who the fuck in their right mind would want to stay in that sort of a life? Being told every day that you are a failure, or a disappointment, or being constantly told that I didn’t “turn out like he hoped”…. Like I said, I kick myself for not leaving sooner. And shame on anyone who feels I should have stayed and tried to make it work. I walked the fuck away, middle finger in the air, and not a single tear shed. What does that tell you? Yolo, mother fuckers…. and I decided it was time that my one life was MY life. And I have never looked back.
Don’t hold on to a mistake just because of the amount of time it has taken you to make it. Don’t hold on to a mistake just because it is what anyone else thinks you should do. Don’t hold on to situations that bring you grief or distress or unhappiness just because a great period of time has passed since you allowed this situation into your life. People would judge you for leaving barbed wire in your side, or a shard of glass in your palm. So why is it so easy for us to accept that basic principle, but in human form?
Every day is a fucking gift, don’t squander it on the unworthy. Walk the fuck away from the bullshit and poison, middle fingers raised, and enjoy the life you have been given.
Yolo, bitches. Fucking YOLO.