As you may or may not know, I am broken. I have this little bastard butterfly in my neck, and it causes me ungaugable levels of strife and misery. It is something I have struggled with and battled for almost a decade, and I STILL don’t have a grasp on it. It makes me feel like a failure on a daily basis, and it has made me feel like I have wasted so much of my life fighting something that will probably never be beat.
But I digress….
I went to my very expensive specialist on Wednesday.. my husband and I packed ourselves and our little 3 year old into his Golf (yay for diesel cars!) and moseyed on down to Edmonton (a 4.5 hour drive from our house) He doesn’t work during the week, and I don’t work Wednesday’s, so luckily neither of us were missing work. We woke our boy up at 545 and began our long day. We went straight to West Edmonton Mall, as we had some stuff to search and destroy there (I had to get my wedding rings re-dipped, he was getting a new phone at Apple, Oakley needed our attention, I had a gift card from Lululemon burning a hole in my pocket, and we had to go to Sport Chek) So we did that all as fast as we could, as we only had an hour and a half there before we had to rip to my doctors appointment. Luckily, they have an amazing play-care center there, so our little dude was able to burn off some energy there while I dealt with my asshole thyroid.
My BHRT nurse came in and was dumbfounded at my blood test results. Basically, my tsh is too high, my t3 is too low, I have NO iron in my body (their words!), I am painfully deficient in magnesium, extremely deficient in my b vitamins, and need to supplement vitamin d and c. Oh, and probiotics wouldn’t hurt, and while I am at it, add some omega 3’s. HOLY CRAP! What the hell else could go wrong? OH RIGHT! My homocysteine is still high, which is dangerous for my heart. FUCK YA… that’s so awesome.
Enter my doctor, who is supposed to FIX ME…. he says he isn’t touching my thyroid meds (thanks doc, I feel like shit, so I fully support the lack of assistance!) and my best bet is to add in iron, magnesium, omegas, vitamin b, c and d, and probiotics. Oh and maybe a good multivitamin, too. Then he got up and left.
I paid $175 for that!? Take your vitamins and omit alcohol and gluten? I ALREADY DO THAT!! And he didn’t give me any dosing info… so I suppose I am supposed to guess? Oh, that’s not true. He did tell me to take magnesium until I begin shitting myself (his words) and then back it down a bit. That is some pretty amazing diagnostician work!
So now here I sit, almost a year into my very costly treatment, and I am not farther ahead.. in fact, I think I might be even farther away from where I started.
Oh well… stay positive, Jennie. Stay positive. I suppose in the end, everything I am doing is going to eventually get me to where I want to be. And once the weight comes off, all of my hard work will be immediately revealed, whereas most people would still have a lot of work to do after losing the weight…
So, silver lining! I suppose……… sigh.